Every week I have a long laundry list of things to do. At the top of that list is usually laundry itself. I swear I just finish doing a load and then, all of a suds, there’s more. Sometimes I wish my Whirlpool was the kind I could soak in after a long day.
I loathe doing laundry so much, I’ve thought about friending one of those fancy new clothes-folding robots. There’s one named Isaac 0. I figure we could hang out, watch a movie, fold a few clothes. You know, the usual things friends do.
I know what you’re probably thinking: why not just have your girlfriend fold the laundry? As you might recall, I suspect she’s an alien, not a robot.
Actually, I think the whole concept of laundry is alien to her. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen her do laundry. Maybe she sends it back to the mothership. I wonder if they use XTRA-terrestrial detergent? Or maybe they use Tide Pods—they are pod people, after all.
After reading this, my girlfriend is probably going to yell at me for airing our dirty laundry in public. But what did she expect? The last time I did laundry, our clothes mysteriously shrank. She insists it’s because I set the temperature too high. Personally, I suspect she has a shrink ray.
Maybe I should invite Isaac over after all. Knowing my luck, though, I’d forget to use Bounce, and the static cling would cause him to develop an unhealthy attachment to my comforter.