You should never start off on the wrong foot, you should only start off on a couple of wrong inches at most. Furthermore, why do we call it a foot when the majority of people’s feet are under a foot in length? It is kind of misleading unless, of course, you wear a size fourteen shoe. Oh well, I guess if the shoe fits, right? I know, I know. I promise this won’t turn into some kind of running gag. I can’t promise, however, that this won’t turn into a walking joke though. I like to keep souvenirs and gifts from girlfriends in a shoebox. I’m sentimental like that. Not that I’m sure there’s really any other way to be sentimental. Anyway, I keep these mementos and such from a girlfriend in the shoebox, even though a lot of times, said girlfriend will end up walking all over me. See? I said I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t make a walking joke. One time, after one of these particularly pedestrian girlfriends had paraded all over me, I decided to set fire to the shoebox. Now that’s what I would call not only starting off but ending off on the wrong foot too.
