I find it humorous when people say, “He’s not a happy camper.” Honestly, what camper is ever happy? First off, you spend an inordinate amount of time becoming best friends with the local mosquitoes and ticks. Forget about insect repellent—it’s more like insect perfume. Instead of repelling them, it attracts them even more. Believe me, the last thing you want is a bug finding you irresistible. Next thing you know, they’re nibbling on your ear and neck like they’re at a gourmet buffet. And along comes a spider to ask, “Who’s your daddy longlegs?”
Then there’s the wildlife. Lions, tigers, and bears—oh my! Okay, maybe not tigers, unless one has escaped from a traveling circus or a box of Frosted Flakes. Let’s be real, you’re more likely to encounter the latter. There are millions of Frosted Flakes boxes out there, and Tony the Tiger is just waiting for his chance to escape. To be on the safe side, you might want to stick with Cheerios—at least the worst the Cheerios bee will do is call you “honey.”
As for lions, you’d think you’re safe unless you’re camping in the Serengeti. But with today’s technology, who knows? Maybe some tech-savvy lion has booked an Airbnb in your campground. Imagine waking up to a lion lounging on your picnic table, looking at you like you’re the room service breakfast.
Even with tigers and lions off the checklist, you still have to worry about bears. And I’m not talking about Yogi Bear, Paddington Bear, or Winnie the Pooh. Real bears don’t wear clothes, but they do have a penchant for honey and picnic baskets. You know what else they probably like? Frosted Flakes.
It’s definitely hard to be a happy camper if you were just that—a trailer camper. Imagine trying to feel happy, or anything at all, without any emotions. Unless, of course, we’re in a Pixar movie like “Cars,” where even trailers have personalities. But we’re not. I’m not trying to be campy, but maybe we should all strive to be happier campers.
