Tag: dogs

January 30th, 2026

Journal Writing

January 30th, 2026

Man's Zest Friend

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A day after her surgery, Goldie was already back to being her fabulous self. I must say, I’m relieved she’s better. I admire this little doggo—she’s so full of zest. The most I could ever hope to be is Zest Fully Clean. And let’s be honest, even that is probably aiming a little too high.

You know how they say if life hands you lemons, you should make lemonade? I personally think you should make lemon zest instead. Maybe sprinkle it over a nice lemon pasta or some lemon bars. Just don’t mistake them for actual bars of soap. It’s an honest mistake.

Although now that I think about it, I’m not entirely sure what makes a mistake honest. Maybe it just shrugs and tells you the truth—like how, even if it were soap, you’d still eat it, because technically it’s made from fat. Even the dog wouldn’t touch that—and she eats pretty much anything.

Being a pet parent is hard but also rewarding. And by rewarding, I mean she leaves me little presents around the house. Not exactly the kind you want. Let’s just say her offerings make ugly Christmas sweaters look even attractive. Like they cleaned up real nice—with, you guessed it, lemon bars.

And that brings me back to why, when life gives you lemons, I say make lemon zest. It’s because my dog occasionally makes lemonade all over my floors—and trust me, you do not want that.

As I said at the beginning of this anecdote, I’m relieved my pup is doing better. I just wish she wasn’t always so relieved as well.

January 28th, 2026

Journal Writing

January 28th, 2026

Let's Not Get Curried Away...

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Last week, I could hardly stand the bitter cold. But I suppose it was better than, say, spicy cold. Talk about confusing sensations. I imagine it would feel like licking a red lentil curry popsicle. I’m sure your tonsils would send a handwritten thank-you note for that.

Speaking of red lentil curry, I do currently have some in my freezer. I might be persuaded to lick it—but only if you triple dog dare me. Then again, the one dog I have is more than enough influence already.

Especially since the cold has given us both a bad case of cabin fever. You know—the illness that mainly afflicts cabins. I’m not entirely sure how I caught it, seeing as I’ve been socially distancing myself from cabins lately. Now cottage fever? That I could understand. I mean, I just had cottage cheese and cottage bread the other day. Obviously not combined into some kind of cottage sandwich. Even I’m not that adventurous with food.

Although… come to think of it, cottage cheese might actually be the perfect companion to a red lentil curry popsicle.

What person in their right mind—or even their left—would eat a popsicle in below-freezing weather? Even if it were spicy Indian food–flavored?

I would. Which means either the cottage fever has finally gone to my head, or those curry popsicles are that spicy.

One good thing about being stuck indoors because of the cold is I’ve finally had time to binge-watch shows like Curd Your Enthusiasm and Welcome Back, Cottar. My dog watched me from the couch the whole time, occasionally glancing at the freezer—where the curry lives—as if to one-dog dare me… or because the cottage fever had finally gotten to her too.

January 24th, 2026

Journal Writing

January 24th, 2026

Lost & Hound

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The other day, our dog, Goldie, had a routine operation. The vet asked me if I wanted them to give her a microchip. I thought she just had a bunch of those when she ate the chip crumbs from the Cheddar Broccoli dip I made last weekend—and that didn’t cost me ninety-five dollars.

And yes, I’m mentioning the dip again in this anecdote because… it was that good.

But if I’m being completely honest, I doubt there’s any real need for Goldie to be microchipped. I’m the one more likely to get lost. I just moved into a new house, in a new town, and I’m still trying to get my bearings. Which makes it sound like I’m half man, half machine or something. I think we’ve already established I’m half a man—but part machine too? That would make me a Ryborg.

Prepare to be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

Of course, if I were a Ryborg, I’d probably perform mundane domestic tasks like cooking, cleaning, and walking the dog.
Oh.
Wait.
I already do all of those things.

I know what you’re probably thinking: why does this guy always wander off on tangents? And that’s exactly my point. I get lost because I wander off—mentally, geographically, conversationally. Maybe I should’ve asked the vet if I could get microchipped instead. Although, if I really am a Ryborg, I’m pretty sure I already have plenty of those.

The thing you don’t realize is that I’ve already thought this through, which is why my Nintendo Switch Online handle is, in fact, Ryborg. I bet some of you also wish you could Switch me off at times. Heck, even I wish I could Switch myself off at times—especially when performing mundane domestic chores. But if I switch off, my Nook Miles in Animal Crossing would be lost. And I seriously doubt my vet offers microchipping services for those animals.

By the time evening rolled around and we were back from the vet, Goldie was recovering beautifully, and I was standing in the kitchen scraping the last of the Cheddar Broccoli dip from the container. She kept a watchful eye on me, as if to say, Don’t worry. I know where you are. Which is more than I can say for myself.