My girlfriend and I went to a Halloween performance dressed as an alien and a cow. Needless to say, we got plenty of laughs, especially as we waltzed into a theatrical performance in full costume. But the joke’s on them, because—who said they were costumes in the first place? Sure, people chuckled, but you know who got the last laugh? The Laughing Cow cheese. If it were up to me, every cracker would come pre-dressed in those creamy wedges.
I personally thought our costume theme hit the bullseye. You know what they say, “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and cows are from the moooon.” Yes, that was cheesy, but you know what’s even cheesier? You guessed it: The Laughing Cow cheese. And no, this isn’t a paid endorsement—unless the fine folks at The Laughing Cow want it to be. It doesn’t even have to be moola; a year’s supply of those creamy wedges would work just fine. I mean, with enough cheese, I could be spreading laughter all year round. They’ll just have to get in touch with my agent… who might actually be an FBI agent, courtesy of my extraterrestrial girlfriend. Who knows? They could be on a “steak-out”… or just out for a good steak.
We cows colonized the moon ages ago—right after that tragic jump attempt in Hey Diddle Diddle. Cows aren’t known for their jumps, you see. Not that we can’t jump; it’s just that we’ve broken way too many calves trying.
I will say, though, I made quite the sight in my cow costume. Looked pretty bovine, if I may say so myself. I could’ve won a ribbon at a 4-H show! They’d have to add a fifth “H” just for me: “handsome.” Okay, maybe I’m milking it a bit.
My girlfriend, on the other hand, looked extraterrestrially adorable. She was totally out of this world! I’m half convinced she got makeup tips from The Cosmopolitan. We planned to party until the cows came home (which, as we know, is the moon). But when her antennas started picking up cell service, a representative from the FCC showed up, informing us we’d need a plan if ET was phoning home. That was two government visits in one night—more than enough for us!