Every now and then, I wonder about life’s unsolved mysteries—like what on earth happened to Chuck Cunningham, the forgotten older brother from Happy Days. Supposedly, he went off to college, but by the series finale, the Cunninghams were acting like they only had two kids. Really? That’s what happens when you go to college? You get erased from your family tree? Maybe I’ll just stick to vocational school, thanks. Poor Chuck—maybe he just wasn’t sitcom material. Or maybe the producers figured they’d have happier days without him.
Then there’s the mystery of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego. I mean, has anyone checked San Diego? It’s right there in the name! Or maybe she’s hiding in Carmen City, admiring the ancient artifact she just swiped. With all those geography clues she leaves behind; you’d think someone would have caught her by now. But nope—she’s always one step ahead, disappearing with her red trench coat just before anyone connects the dots.
With all these vanishing acts, you’d think they’d still put missing people on milk cartons. But even that tradition seems to have disappeared. And does milk even come in cartons anymore? I think the last time I saw one was in an elementary school cafeteria. But how’s that supposed to help? Are we really expecting a room full of second graders to crack cold cases? Unless, of course, one of them is a pint-sized Sherlock Holmes—Elementary, dear Watson, literally. I bet even Junior Sherlock would have his hands full, not just trying to solve the milk carton mysteries, but also catching Carmen Sandiego red-handed—with the Eiffel Tower under one arm and a geography clue in her pocket, no less.
Where do all these lost things go? Maybe they all end up wherever that last puzzle piece, the missing mitten, and the party dip always seem to disappear. One of life’s great mysteries… or, okay, maybe not so great. They probably all end up in a massive cardboard box labeled “Lost and Found.” Except for the party dip—that definitely ended up in my stomach. But if anyone asks, I’ll say Chuck Cunningham disappeared with it. Seems very Cunningham of him.