🎶 Laser glowin’, gave me contacts
🎶 Laser glowin’, now I see black
Okay, that might not be exactly how the song goes, but you don’t have to get all scientific about it.
But if you do want to get all scientific, researchers recently discovered a brand-new color called olo. Naturally, the only way to see it is by firing a laser directly into your eye. Because nothing says “groundbreaking color theory” like voluntary cataracts.
What aren’t scientists discovering these days? Still waiting on a breakthrough to stop Oreos from crumbling into oblivion when dunked in milk. That’s just how the cookie crumbles, I suppose—leaving behind a chocolatey sediment at the bottom of my glass, resembling some sort of dairy delta.
They’re calling this new color olo. Which honestly sounds like something Mr. Bean would say while answering the phone: “Olo?”
With a name like olo, you’d think it’s somewhere between orange and yellow—a sunset smoothie or at least a mango hiccup. But apparently, it falls somewhere between blue and green. So… teal? Aqua? That one elusive M&M color that only shows up when you’re down to the last five in the bag?
Here’s the twist: olo can only be seen by blasting a laser directly into your eye. Totally reasonable. I can’t wait to try it myself—just as soon as my cat’s done chasing the laser pointer. Sorry, Whiskers, but Daddy’s got to give himself cataracts in the name of science.
Personally, I’m hoping Crayola jumps on board and makes an olo crayon. That way, no one will notice when I color outside the lines in my adult coloring book. It’ll blend right in with the pizza stains on my latest masterpiece—The Dalai Lama riding a stegosaurus through a field of motivational quotes.
Anyway, it’s time for dessert. I picked up a pack of the new Olo Oreos. Let’s see if they turn my milk an invisible shade of brown. You know—choc-olo milk.
Next up: finding out if I see Grease in lightning.