Whenever I write a lowercase ‘m,’ it always looks like a seagull to me. I know that can’t be right because “seagull” clearly starts with a ‘c,’ not an ‘m.’ But it’s hard to shake that image. Every time I see an ‘m,’ I picture those little wings in flight. And if one ‘m’ looks like a seagull, just imagine what happens when you write a mammoth number of them—you end up with a whole flock of ‘m’s soaring across the page. If you ever get a whole flock of them together, don’t be surprised if they suddenly start belting out, “And I ran. I ran so far away,” while mysteriously gravitating towards the nearest body of water.
Now, here’s something to ponder: if seagulls are hanging out by a lake instead of the sea, can you really call them seagulls anymore? Wouldn’t that make them lakegulls? I’d say if you’re having lakegull problems, it’s probably time to call a lawyer. But honestly, all of this trouble could be avoided if we just got rid of the letter ‘m’ altogether. Then again, what would happen to M&M’s? I’ll tell you exactly what would happen: the seagulls would swoop in and fly off with them. That’s what.
Trust me, the last thing you want is seagulls with a sugar high on the loose. You’d have candy-coated chaos, with feathered fiends dive-bombing anyone holding a snack, leaving a trail of colorful shells in their wake. It wouldn’t stop there either—next, they’d be going for your cola. And before you know it, you’ve got caffeinated seagulls buzzing around like winged pinballs, jittering and squawking at double speed.
You ever play pinball with a seagull? I wouldn’t recommend it. They have no sense of direction, and they’re notorious for tilting the machine—plus, they’re always trying to steal the extra ball! And that’s how I got kicked out of Chuck E. Cheese, which is a shame because I rather enjoyed their pizza. At least when the seagull didn’t seize that from me too.
Now I’m banned for life, all because one sugar-crazed seagull couldn’t resist a slice of pizza. It’s probably for the best though—I’d hate for them to catch me writing another ‘m’ and set off a whole new frenzy. So, if you ever spot a seagull eyeing your meal, take my advice—just let it go. It’s safer to lose a snack than to tangle with a pizza-loving, cola-fueled bird on a mission.