I thought, “Hey, a fondue night would be fon-to-due!” Because nothing says classy quite like melted cheese and decadent chocolate. Just, uh, preferably not mixed. Now, full disclosure, I’m no fondue savant. This whole fondue thing is new to me, so I’m still figuring out what to fondue and what not to fondue. First off, I need one of those… what do you call them? Oh yeah—pots. Or, if you’ll excuse my French, a caquelon. I know what you’re thinking: is that a new Transformer robot? Sadly, it’s just the fancy French way of saying fondue pot! Then I’ll need those extra-long forks—definitely not designed for back scratching.
Also, fondue is one of those meals you want to share with a crowd. I mean, who can finish tiny chunks of bread and bits of potato solo? Plus, it’s a great way to show off to your friends, family, neighbors, and, of course, Big Phil from the hardware store. Between you and me, Big Phil could really use a pick-me-up—his whole “hardware” gig has taken a backseat to software these days. But, hey, if your fancy new electric fondue pot starts acting up, you’ll know who to call. No one’s faster with a Phillips screwdriver than Phil—fitting, right?
Now, no fondue night would be complete without a guest of honor. For mine, I’m inviting Arthur Fonzarelli—The Fonz. You might remember him from the show I mentioned in a previous anecdote—Happy Days. So, it’s officially a fonz-due party, and it’s bound to be a night people remember fondly (sorry, couldn’t resist). Hopefully, nobody gets into a full-blown sword fight with fondue forks because they couldn’t resist going for the last marshmallow. It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye—or a s’more. I’d be so embarrassed if a fonduel broke out with Fonzie at my party—but you know he’d just snap his fingers and cool things down. I just hope he doesn’t cool down the fondue! “Eyyyy!”
And if all else fails, I’ll just call Big Phil for help—though I doubt even he could transform my caquelon into a heroic robot to save the day. But at least his Phillips screwdriver can double as a back scratcher!